In the Balance
by justareader13
Summary: 5x13 AU fic. Gwen decides to go out into the field looking for Arthur after the battle has died down and gets injured. Due to a series of circumstances she is taken away to save her while Arthur is taken in the opposite direction to save him. Will both the King and Queen die or will this change of events be the boost they need to propel them into the Golden Age, the time of Albion?
1. The Warrior Queen

**I DO NOT OWN MERLIN; IT BELONGS TO THE BBC AND SUBSEQUENT CREATORS OF THE SHOW. NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AT ALL. **

**AN: So this has been bouncing around in my head for some time now and so I decided I might as well put pen to paper. This is an AU 5x13 fic for you all. Hope you guys enjoy. **

**Warnings: There is description of battle scenes in this chapter and both minor and major death. You have been forewarned. **

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Gwen stood in the medical tent with Gaius helping to patch up wounded knights. The battle was dying down now and she was getting antsy. She had no idea where Arthur was and even though that sorcerer on the mountain had been a huge help in turning the tide of the battle in Camelot's favor Gwen still hadn't heard anything about Arthur's whereabouts from the knights pouring into the sick bay.

_I've got to find him, I've got to._ Gwen thought to herself.

She quickly applied a bandage to one of the knights and grabbed his sword before walking out from the tent.

"Gwen!" She heard Gaius calling behind her. She turned to see Gaius walking out of the tent with a look of disapproval on his face.

"Gwen, you can't go out there. It's too dangerous! There may still be some Saxons down there." Gaius exclaimed concernedly but Gwen held up her hand halting his speech.

"I'm going Gaius and there's nothing you can say to stop me. Arthur's my husband and he's down there somewhere. He could be hurt, I must find him." Gwen explained leaving no room for argument.

"But Morgana-"

"Will not stop me from searching for Arthur." Gaius sighed at Gwen's determination.

"If you going go out there I wish to do something for you first." Gaius said almost hesitantly.

"What is it?"

"I cannot protect you from the Saxons but I can protect you from Morgana and any other magic users." Gaius continued in the same cautious tone.

"How?"

"I wish to place a protective ward on you if you would grant it, my lady." Gaius finally said, gaining some confidence in his voice.

"…using magic." Gwen stated rather than question. Gaius nodded and Gwen sighed. She was weary of course but then she thought of the man on the hill, he had helped Arthur and the others win the battle. He had magic yet he still helped them, so maybe magic wasn't all bad. Truth be told, Gwen had been thinking this for some time now but there was never really any time to speak at length with Arthur about it between Morgana's schemes and Gwen being enchanted by her. Gwen nodded to Gaius and he held his hands to her temples and chanted words Gwen couldn't begin to understand. She didn't feel any different but she then she looked down at herself once he had finished and saw a ripple of blue flash three times just beneath the surface of her skin.

"Her magic will not effect you now, it levels the playing field between you two." Gaius said to her. Gwen nodded before turning to run off again but Gaius called to again, Gwen turned to him exasperatedly.

"If you are to see Morgana... you must kill her using Arthur's sword." Gaius advised.

"What's so special about Arthur's sword?" Gwen asked.

"You know the story Merlin told Arthur of the sword?"

"Yes. Back when Morgana took Camelot with Helios Merlin told Arthur that Bruta used the last of his strength to thrust the sword in the stone so only his true heir could remove it and Arthur pulled it out of the stone, proving he is Bruta's heir and the true king of Camelot." Gwen recounted, remembering the awe and pride which filled her as she watched Arthur pull the sword he named Excalibur from the stone.

"That sword is special. As a present to Bruta for him establishing the five kingdoms and restoring peace to the land the dragons gifted him with this sword forged in their breath." Gaius told her, the lie coming from him as if second nature.

"Dragons? Dragons have blessed Arthur's sword?" Gwen breathed out.

"Indeed. That sword is beyond any mortal sword. It will never rust, can never be destroyed, it has the power to kill that which is already dead and kill other things which are immortal." Gaius informed, not lying about this part.

"Morgana… is immortal now?" Gwen asked hesitantly.

"I suspect so. When a magical being has enough power they can very well become immortal and cheat death itself. I believe Morgana has reached such power Guinevere. This does not make her invincible, the triple goddess would never allow someone to be immortal without any way to end their life. You must use Arthur's sword if she is to die permanently." Gwen nodded, briefly wondering how Gaius knew this but she had to go find Arthur. Gaius watched her go wearily knowing he had done all he could do.

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Gwen has been perusing the battle field for thirty minutes now and still hasn't found Arthur. She had already been attacked three times: twice by Saxons which she killed soon enough, though not without some cuts and bruises, and by a male sorcerer who couldn't use their power on Gwen just like Gaius said. The spell repelled off her onto them and in the end they ended up killing their own self. Gwen walked silently through the rubble and bodies, she knew that shouting out for Arthur would attract unwanted attention so she quietly examined each chain-mail covered body, hoping the ones who weren't breathing weren't Arthur and the ones that were breathing she helped them as best she could, pointed out the direction of the sick bay and kept moving despite their protests for her to come back with them.

"My…lady." She heard a straggled voice say to her right, she quickly ran over when she saw it was one of the knights.

"Kay!" Gwen looked over him and knew he wouldn't have long. She ran her hand through his red hair sadness washing through her, she knew Kay ever since she was a child.

"I'm glad… that I could see… a friendly face… before I go." He struggled out.

"Oh, Kay. You have been a loyal, trusted friend. You will be sorely missed." She lamented.

"I will… be with… my brothers. You musn't… mourn long. Not for… a failure like me."

"What are you talking about?" Gwen asked confused.

"The king… Arthur… I tried to… save him... but… I was… too weak." Gwen's eyes widened at that.

"Where is he, Kay?" Kay pointed to a raised part of the hill adjacent to him.

"Mordred… ran him…through. I'm… sorry." He choked out before his eyes shut and his chest went still. Gwen ran her hand through his hair once more before standing up and walking hesitantly closer to where he had pointed. She was afraid of what she'd find. She peered through the fog and walked closer and her bloody sword fell from her hand when she saw Arthur laying on the rocky hillside with eyes closed and his sword on the ground at his side. Gwen snapped out of her haze and immediately ran to his side stepping over Mordred's body as she passed him. Part of her was happy that he at least was gone but the other ached that someone as young as him had let hatred consume him and he had died with bitterness filling his heart.

"Arthur, Arthur." Gwen said tearfully placing her hands on his face. She moved her hand to his neck and breathed a sigh of relief when she felt his pulse, however thready it was.

"Okay we've got to move you, love." She said mostly to herself. She pulled him up so he was leaning against her side, she slung his heavy arm over her shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist getting ready to brace herself to stand when she her a noise off to her left. She paused and strained to listen and she heard the noise even louder this time. Gwen narrowed her eyes and gently placed Arthur back against the cliff face, she looked around before realizing her sword laid twenty feet away next to Kay. She reached down and grabbed Arthur's sword in her hand, remembering Gaius' words, before she got up and walked cautiously towards the noise which seemed to come from a cave in the cliff face. It almost looked random and out of place but Gwen could see an orange flickering light coming from inside. Gwen cautiously entered the cave. She noticed a fire was burning in cave and that made her wary. She felt as it someone was watching her.

"Who's there?" She called with more conviction in her voice than she felt.

"Hello, _my lady_, we meet again." She heard a very familiar voice say in a tone clouded with disgust and hatred. Gwen nearly dropped Arthur's sword when she saw Sefa dressed in all black step out from the shadows before her with a sword in her hand.

"Sefa. You joined Morgana's army?" Gwen said disbelievingly.

"Is it any wonder? You had my father killed." Sefa replied with the same hatred in her voice, the hatred that reminded Gwen so much of Morgana and it saddened her even deeper than Mordred's death.

"Your father committed treason." Gwen protested.

"You and your father's work led to the death of many good men and it nearly got Arthur and Merlin killed." She continued

"And yet here we stand with even more men slaughtered, is it any better than before really?" Sefa questioned. Gwen felt every single death of her good knights out there and each face she saw chiseled away at her heart.

"You can look at me as the enemy all you want Sefa, I was doing my job as Queen. I spared you when you betrayed Camelot, I let you go after you betrayed all of us. I was your friend and so was Merlin." Gwen told her not wanting her to have the upper hand here.

"You wouldn't know a traitor if they kicked you in the teeth. Right now you host someone at court ready to tell all your little secrets to Morgana." Sefa taunted. Gwen narrowed her eyes at that before they widened.

"Eira." Gaius had suspected Eira and had relayed the information to Gwen but she had had no proof. From Sefa's face she got all the proof she needed right there. Gwen felt sad for Gwaine but she wouldn't let Sefa get the satisfaction of seeing Gwen weakened, she needed to get back to Arthur and to Camelot now more than ever and if she had to get through Sefa to do it she would.

"I don't want to waste any more time on this. If we are to fight then let's get on with it." Gwen said firmly.

"Fight? Oh no, you will die!" Sefa exclaimed, lunging at Gwen with her sword out to which Gwen quickly blocked. Sefa swung her sword two more times, each of which Gwen blocked easily before she swung Arthur's sword towards Sefa's neck. Sefa reared back just in time to avoid getting beheaded and both women quickly regained form, crouching low before each other with the swords in front of them. Both women resembled wild animals, their reflexes were as deadly as their intent, they both knew only one of them would walk out of this cave alive.

Gwen lunged at Sefa first this time thrusting her sword overhead with crushing force but Sefa steadfastly held the queen off even as Gwen forced her sword closer and closer to Sefa's face. Sefa kicked her knee out catching Gwen in the stomach causing her to double over. Sefa grabbed Gwen's arm and swung her around before throwing her against the rocky wall of the cave back first causing her head to hit the wall, disorienting her and before Gwen could regain her equilibrium Sefa took her sword and ran it through Gwen's the lower right side of Gwen's stomach, unbeknowest to both women it was the same place Mordred had ran Arthur through. Gwen gasped at the feel of cold metal entering her and then being wrenched out roughfully. Sefa raising her sword above her head to bring it down on Gwen's head but before the queen really knew what she was doing she crouched low, ignoring the horrible burning pain that took over her stomach, and used her leg to trip Sefa up causing her to fall flat on her back and her sword to end up five feet away and out of reach. Gwen quickly stood up and pressed her booted foot against Sefa's throat.

"I wish I didn't have to do this to you Sefa, you were a good girl." Gwen told her before she raised Arthur's sword and plunged it into Sefa's chest. Gwen pulled the bloody sword out and seconds later Sefa breathed no more. Gwen looked down at her stomach but she didn't pay it much mind.

_Right now I need to focus on Arthur_, she thought before taking off the belt around her waist and moving it down to the wound. She tightened it, groaning at the ripples of pain the flooded her but not thinking of the wound again once it simmered to a dull, constant ache. Her thoughts were with Arthur.

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Morgana walked through the fog and rubble and bodies, sword in hand, with little care for most of them. Seeing the knights dead brought her satisfaction but she was looking for two people specifically. She needed to find Mordred and she needed to find Arthur and kill him.

_Bloody Merlin or Emrys or whatever the hell he goes by, always ruining everything_. She thought. She looked a little ahead and saw a sight that made her cold heart skip a beat and a smirk curl onto her lips.

_But maybe not today._ She thought as she walked closer to Arthur prone body. She walked faster and faster towards him and the smirk only dropped from her lips as she saw a body close to Arthur's, one she knew well.

"Mordred?" She said to herself running to him. Her finger immediately searched for a pulse but found none. She felt tears welling in her eyes as she looked down at the boy she thought of as a son, the one she saved from Uther all those years ago with the help of Merlin and Arthur: the two who caused his death now. She felt anger and hatred giving way to grief as she stroked Mordred's face and glowered at an unconscious Arthur.

"You did good Mordred, you can go in peace with that knowledge." She told his body, kissing his cheek before moving closer to Arthur.

"You may have won the battle but you've lost the war." She said, whilst caressing his face with her sword briefly leaving traces of his knights' blood on his golden tanned skin. She sincerely hoping he could hear her despite his lack of consciousness.

"You're going to die by Mordred's hand." She said with a gleeful smile before it dropped as soon as it came putting on a mock reassuring look on her face.

"Oh but don't worry I won't leave you alone, little brother." She said, a sneer now gracing her still beautiful face and marring it with wrongness.

"Oh no, I won't leave you alone. Not until the crows are feasting on your eyes, your skin is black and rotting off. Not until Emrys has seen Mordred's good work and when he screams, I'll skin him alive and split his skull. Leave him to roast in the sun until the vultures feast on him. I won't leave until there is no trace that either of you ever existed." Morgana spat out, her twisted mind running through one gruesome scenario after another. She was so lost in her crazed, unhinged thoughts that she didn't notice Gwen walking up behind her until she spoke.

"Get away from my husband." Gwen spat out lowly with a dangerous edge to her voice. Morgana felt an even larger vindictive smirk fall to her lips as she stood and turned to see Gwen glaring murderously at her.

"Oh how fortunate of me. Not only am I in the presence of the King but the Queen as well." Morgana taunted before a glare just as fierce as Gwen's came upon her face.

"Does it please you? Parading about in _my_ crown, bearing _my_ title as if it could ever be yours." Morgana hissed.

"You don't know the first thing about what it truly means to be Queen, Morgana. You think you can impose change within a kingdom through fear and intimidation, you think people will hold lasting loyalty to you after you burn their food source and houses, starve their children, fire into crowds of innocent people and kill their loved ones. You know nothing of how a sovereign should treat their people and that is why a throne would suit you ill." Gwen told her in a scathing tone. Morgana glared harder at Gwen.

"I don't want _a_ throne, I want _my_ throne!" Morgana exclaimed throwing out her hand to send Gwen flying but when the spell hit Gwen a blue light rippled beneath her skin before the spell was sent back towards Morgana who quickly dodged it and it hit some Saxons who were creeping up behind Morgana to help her kill Gwen. The spell sent them crashing against some jagged rocks killing and mortally wounding them on impact.

"Emrys!" Morgana spat out like it was a curse instead of a name as she saw her magic had no effect on Gwen. Gwen figured that that must be the name of the sorcerer on the ridge.

"No, Gaius actually." Gwen said with a smirk. Morgana sneered at that.

_Of course the old crone wouldn't let Gwen out without protection even if it meant breaking the law._ Morgana thought scornfully before she smirked.

"No matter, that just means I get to kill you all the more intimately."

"Do you really think I haven't spent the last four years training for this moment?" Gwen said in the form of a question but really it was just to let Morgana know that she would be in for a fight.

"We shall see, _your majesty_." The two former friends lunged towards each at the same time their swords clashing together loudly. Morgana and Gwen both lunged at the same time another two times before Morgana moved to slash at Gwen's stomach. Gwen quickly jumped back out of the sword's path hitting it with her own trying to disarm Morgana. She managed to but before she could do anything Morgana used the palm of her hand to hit Gwen's nose hard but not enough to break it just enough to cause it to begin to bleed. Gwen instinctively held her nose while it bled giving Morgana time to retrieve her sword.

Gwen got her head back in the game in time to block a blow that would've struck at her side, she pushed Morgana back roughly and then used her sword to cut Morgana's cheek. She noticed Morgana touch her cheek shocked when she saw blood on her hands as if that shouldn't have happened, she noticed Morgana look at Arthur's sword in disbelief and Gwen knew Gaius' words rung true. She took advantage of Morgana's distraction to disarm the high priestess making sure to send the sword flying far away. Morgana watched the sword go before turning back to Gwen menacingly.

"I am a high priestess of the triple goddess, no mortal blade can kill me!" Morgana exclaimed but she looked at the sword warily.

"This isn't a mortal blade and I think you know that." Gwen told her calmly before lunging forward, grabbing Morgana's shoulder and holding her steady while she pierced the sword through Morgana's stomach in one fluid movement that caused the pale skinned woman to gasp in shock and pain.

"Arthur's sword was forged in a dragon's breath." Gwen continued calmly as Morgana looked up at her with the same shock and pain in her usually dead eyes. Gwen shook her head at Morgana mournfully.

"I so wish things could've gone differently between us Morgana. We were once as sisters, best friends until you betrayed me."

"You… betrayed… me. All of you!" Morgana choked out.

"That may hold true for Uther and maybe even Arthur and Merlin but you betrayed me first when you tried to have Uther burn me alive when you exposed Arthur and I to him and you know it. You betrayed me over a bejeweled chair. A throne you know as the illigetimate child of Uther you never had any claim to."

"I had right to the throne. I was Uther's daughter." Morgana protested through pained gasps.

"You were his bastard child and that afforded you no more right to the throne than Morgause had." Neither woman realized they were already speaking about Morgana in past tense.

"It is sad that you hate Uther so much yet you're more like him than Arthur ever was. You let hatred and fear drive you to commit atrocities against your fellow man just like your father did. It saddens me more than I can say that hatred and bitterness consumed and devoured all that was good in you. It saddens me that that hatred consumes all those who get close to you and turns them into beings just as bitter as you. Mordred, Aithusa and Sefa were innocent and lost souls and they needed help and proper guidance but you poisoned their minds and made them just like you. I can only hope they know on the other side that your way was wrong. I pray the gods are merciful on you Morgana, but I doubt it." Gwen said to her with finality in her voice before she ripped the sword from Morgana's stomach and plunged it into her heart. She felt the life leaving Morgana and when her breaths came no more Gwen removed the sword from her chest and pushed her body to the side watching it fall to the floor. Gwen felt tears welling up in her eyes at the sight of Morgana's lifeless, bloody body but she chose not to dwell on the woman, she couldn't, not right now.

Gwen turned around to face Arthur again and as she did she noticed that during the fight her belt had somehow gotten cut off somehow and it was no longer stemming the blood flow from the wound Sefa gave her. She opened her fur vest and looked at the growing blood stain showing clearly on her white patterned shirt. She pressed her hand to the wound but she felt a sense of vertigo hitting her and her world was suddenly turning on it axis. Gwen blinked against spots in her vision and stumbled more than walked towards Arthur. She fell to her knees before him and placed Excalibur firmly in his left hand. The sword was his and should remain by his side. Gwen's bloody hand went to his neck where she could still feel his pulse but it felt a little weaker to her. Then again she wasn't sure if it was just her fatigued mind playing tricks on her. Gwen felt darkness looming over her and she couldn't fight it even if she wanted to. She scooted closer to Arthur, removed the glove from his right hand and placed the hand not pressed against her wound in his firmly. She kissed it before she rested her head heavily on his stomach feeling the darkness looming over her descend. What she didn't know was that a pair of brown eyes watched her the whole time before running off.

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**I probably shouldn't be posting this now what with my schedule but I couldn't let it go. Reviews plz?**


	2. With Some Help From Our Friends

**I DO NOT OWN MERLIN; IT BELONGS TO THE BBC AND SUBSEQUENT CREATORS OF THE SHOW. NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AT ALL.**

**AN: This is an AU 5x13 fic for you all. Hope you guys enjoy. Link to pictures of important original characters are on my page.**

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Noelani took a deep, shuddering breath as she observed the still bodies of the Once and Future King and Queen, Morgana Pendragon and Mordred. She had seen the queen battle Morgana and heard the scuffle between her and Sefa and though she wished to intervene she knew these battles were defining moments for the queen and would help shape her destiny. They needed to be completed by her and her alone and so she didn't interfere. She had _only_ listened to the battle between Queen Guinevere and Sefa so she didn't realize that the queen was injured until she saw the wound herself. She looked over the scene one more time before she ran back towards the small group of people hidden thirty feet away from the scene behind some tall, jagged edged rocks.

"Iseldir!" She called and the druid leader turned quickly towards her as did the other nine druids, some on foot holding the reigns of their horses while the others were on their horse's back.

"I found them." Noelani informed to which the druids immediately took action. Noelani directed Iseldir on foot towards them while three men, one woman and a teenage girl on horseback followed. There were also two men, each on a horse, which drew one wooden wagon each. Both were prepared with warm furs and pillows, the wagons were big enough to fit three people and there was a small redheaded girl of about seven in one of them.

They moved swiftly towards where Noelani pointed out. Iseldir ran towards the spot where Arthur was still unconscious with Gwen curled up unconscious next to him. Iseldir and Noelani moved Gwen away from Arthur and laid her down on the ground. He moved his hand over the wound on Gwen's stomach and held them there for a few seconds before he moved them, sitting back with a grim look on his face.

"What is it?" Noelani asked.

"I cannot use my magic to heal the queen." Iseldir informed them, standing up to address all those who were with him.

"But… surely we cannot let the queen die." Jillian, the teenage girl said. She was a taller fifteen year old with dark brown hair and blue eyes. She had been with Iseldir and his druid camp for the past five years. She was afraid of her powers in the beginning but she didn't start hating people who didn't understand them, she didn't begin committing mass murder like Morgana had and it always made her sad knowing that the older woman, who was one of her kind, could go so wrong.

"What prevents your power Iseldir?" Maddox, one of the druid protectors asked. He was a strapping man with caramel skin a shade lighter than the queen's. He didn't have magic but his brute strength could be seen as supernatural by some. He was truly a gentle man in nature and took pride in protecting the druids who had found him near death and nursed him back to health.

"The queen is of a delicate condition." Iseldir said, pausing before he continued.

"She is with child." He said, causing the others to gasp in shock, wonder and awe. He let this information sink in before he continued.

"There is also a protective ward on the queen. This particular ward repels any magic done to her subsequently preventing me from healing her."

"Can you not just break the ward and heal her?" Fauna asked. She looked about 35 and had long wheat colored hair. She was a midwife and the wife of Maddox.

"It seems simple enough but it seems the magic has sensed the queen's condition, the ward has manifested itself into a protective barrier around the child preventing the damage from the wound effecting the child. If I break the ward, I risk the queen losing the child. You know as well as I, Fauna, that the queen's pregnancy further complicates the wound and the healing process. I would need to heal her and the child as two separate beings and I may not be fast enough to save the child after I save the queen." Iseldir explained. Fauna knew this all too well and so did the others and they nodded.

"What do we do then?" Noelani asked.

"What about the cup of life?" A small voice intoned from one of the wagons. They turned to Anya, the small redheaded orphan child, who looked at the queen as if enraptured. Anya was a seer and had learned to control her gift and understand it from birth. Both the Once and Future King and the Queen had visited many of her dream visions and it was one of such dreams that told her that the king and queen would be injured mortally and in need of help. Anya felt as though she knew them and felt it was her duty to save them.

"The cup of life would heal both the Queen and the child completely." Fauna agreed.

"Indeed. Maddox take the queen to one of the wagons, we will trek to the cup with her." Maddox moved to purpose whilst Iseldir checked over Arthur. He shuddered when he felt the power radiating from the wound, it was duller than the power radiating from the sword in the king's hand but still powerful.

"The wound was dealt by a blade forged in the breath of a dragon." Iseldir informed.

"Then the king will surely die." Jillian said sadly.

"No, there is a way to heal him."

"There is?"

"He must be taken to the Lake of Avalon where the waters will purify the wound and heal him, it is the only way."

"But the closest shore is in the opposite direction of the cup." Noelani realized.

"Yes, I believe that is why Anya was so insistent on us bringing two wagons. Half of us must go with the king and the other half with the queen." Iseldir said, hashing his plan out immediately.

"Fauna, Anya, Noelani, Robb and Jasper will go with the queen." He said towards Robb, who was another protector of the druids and unlike Maddox had magic and Jasper, a brown, curly haired young man who rode the horse pulling Gwen's wagon, he also was skilled in magic and would serve as a protector too.

"Maddox, John, Pietros, Jillian and I will go with the king." He said pointing to Maddox and John who was a fellow protector and Pietros who had a cart behind his horse. John immediately moved to place the king in the wagon. Jillian went to Arthur and did a spell to stem the bleeding a bit. She couldn't heal him but at least she could do something.

"Wait. Jillian should go to Camelot." Noelani said. Jillian's head snapped up with restrained fear and apprehension in her already confused eyes.

"I heard the queen talking to Sefa. Sefa said there was a traitor in Camelot. You know one of the most trusted knights well Jillian, you can convince him of the traitor. Her name is Eira." The brown skinned woman explained.

"Oh no. No, I can't go to Camelot." Jillian protested nervously.

"You must, you are strong enough. We all must confront our pasts sometimes and now is the time that you will. To save the future of Albion you must go now." Iseldir said sagely. Jillian hesitated a little before she nodded and mounted her horse. She took off without any more delay.

"Is there anything else we should know before you leave Noelani?" Iseldir asked.

"Well, the queen killed Morgana." She informed. They all looked over at Morgana's body and could see Mordred a few feet away too.

"We will collect their bodies for burial once our task is complete." Iseldir said in a somber tone. Noelani didn't look happy about this, she glared pointedly at Morgana's body and was tempted to set it ablaze then and there but nodded nonetheless before mounting her horse. Anya spoke once more from beside the queen before they set off with her.

"Iseldir, one more thing! In my vision, I saw Emrys coming here soon." The little girl informed. Iseldir nodded at that.

"Then we will wait for him." The others nodded before Fauna went to the front of the small group and spurred her horse on leading the queen and the group towards the cup and away from the king.

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Gaius stood in the tent collecting his things as they were all starting to get ready to make haste for Camelot. Gwen hadn't come back and from what some of the returning knights told him she flat out refused when they tried to persuade her to come back with them. He was worried, with both the queen and the king missing Camelot would be vulnerable if this was a long term situation. Gaius turned around hopefully as he heard someone enter the tent but his hopes were dashed when he saw it was Leon and not Guinevere walking into the tent.

"Sir Leon?"

"We are almost ready to leave but I was looking for Gwen. I wanted to be the one to tell her… we can't find Arthur." Gaius sighed at that. He felt heavier than ever before, if they couldn't find Arthur then they probably couldn't find Gwen and he didn't know where Merlin was, he looked back up as Leon called to him.

"Gaius, where is she? Where's the queen?" Gaius sighed again and looked at Leon meaningfully.

"You mean—", Leon said cutting himself off.

"She left some time ago. I tried to stop her but she would not hear of it. She went searching for Arthur."

"So both the king and queen are missing now?" Leon said in disbelief, it was a disaster.

"Who's to rule in their stead?" Leon asked Gaius but the man didn't have an answer he could only look at the younger man somberly and wonder at the fate of the king and queen.

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_Warm yet cold. Pain, flaring. Hurt, consuming. Betrayal, so, so much betrayal._

Everything was fragmented to Arthur, even his thoughts, as he tried to remember how to open his eyes. He caught flashes, flashes of memory from… a battle? Right, yes there was a battle. A battle at… Camlann. There was Morgana. It was making more sense in his head now. The white dragon. A sorcerer on the ridge: the same one who had planted that poultice underneath his pillow when his father accused Gwen of sorcery, the one who had killed his father, the one Morgana feared: he had helped them win the battle… then Mordred ran Arthur through and he killed the boy. He woke previously and saw Merlin and some druids and Merlin… he said he was the sorcerer on the ridge, Merlin confessed his magic.

That was enough to cause Arthur to jerk out of his hazy state with a gasp and make him wrench his eyes open. He regretted it when the soft light of the sun assaulted his eyes but he kept them open regardless. He looked up at the early morning sky wondering if last night was real. He noticed that he was resting on some soft furs on an elevated wagon and was covered with some more furs with his head resting on a pillow. He looked around and saw there was a rather large man standing a few feet away from him perusing the forest around them critically, he could see three more men asleep some ways away from him and he recognized one of them as Iseldir, the druid leader. He heard voices, two familiar voices but he only called out one name.

"Gaius?" Immediately the older man and Merlin walked over to Arthur. Arthur glared at Merlin hard. Merlin shifted nervously before he walked away from the two towards Maddox who still stood watch. Arthur made sure he was gone before he brought his attention to Gaius.

"He's a sorcerer." Arthur hissed lowly. Gaius simply stared at Arthur until the latter rolled his eyes.

"You knew. Of course you knew." Arthur grumbled.

"Arthur, Merlin is still your friend." Gaius said in what he hoped was a reassuring tone.

"I want him gone." Arthur replied stubbornly.

"He is trying to help you, to save you, and so are the druids."

"You're right; I have the druids here so I don't need him." Arthur spat out, his anger towards Merlin clear in every word he said.

"Arthur, I'm sure he told you that it was him who defeated the Saxons and the dragon. He won the battle for Camelot. Sorcerer or not he doesn't deserve-"

"It's not that he has magic, Gaius. I knew Mordred was a druid and yet I still knighted him, I'm okay with being with the druids now so trust me that's not it. It's that for the past decade he's lied to me. I have no idea what's the truth and what's a lie. I have no clue what to believe anymore." Arthur cut in, confiding in the man who was like a second father to him.

"Merlin has always been there for you. He has used his powers for untold amounts of good including saving you, Guinevere and Camelot countless times. He has only ever strived to protect you and see you become the greatest king this land has ever known, whether he did it as Emrys or Merlin, he only ever did it for you. If you believe nothing else believe that Arthur." Arthur sighed heavily at Gaius' words.

Mordred betraying him still stung and so did his death and now knowing that Merlin had been lying to him for so long hurt so much more. He wouldn't lie, he had felt a certain paternal yearning every time he saw Mordred. Maybe it was his youth or the haunted innocence that resided in the boy's eyes or the fact that Arthur looked at him and saw that little druid boy he helped save all those years ago but Mordred seemed to quell that need in Arthur, the need to be a father to someone. Arthur couldn't forget the smile on Mordred's face when he ran him through. The boy had smiled and his eyes held gratitude towards Arthur before he fell dead. If only Arthur could speak to him one more time, just once.

Arthur knew that Mordred had magic but he chose to ignore it because he didn't want to lose him and if he was honest he ignored a lot of the signs that pointed to Merlin's magic because he didn't want to lose _him_ and because he didn't want to deal with the fallout of what that revelation would mean but putting it off just made the truth hurt all the more. He didn't know why, perhaps because of the paternal instincts Mordred awakened or because he was one of Arthur's most trusted knights, but he felt as if it was his own child had betrayed him when he turned around and saw Mordred's harsh glare. It pained him seeing Mordred's innocence turned to bitterness, just like Morgana all over again, and now Merlin had betrayed him too. It was all too much to cope with at once especially knowing that he was injured and being taken to some special lake to be healed.

Arthur sighed snapping out of his thoughts. He realized that whilst he was lost in them Gaius had checked the wound, stemming some blood loss with herbs and that the druids were awake now them and Merlin were making preparations to leave. He sighed again before addressing Gaius.

"Look, before I fell back asleep Iseldir told me that they have to take me to the Lake of Avalon for this wound to heal and it's still three days trek from here so I need you to give this to Guinevere." Arthur said removing the royal seal from his finger and passing it to Gaius.

"Sire—",

"I know you hold hope I'll be healed and I suppose I do as well but I still need to put things in order just in case. If I do die Guinevere is to assume the throne." Arthur said pressing the ring into Gaius' hand.

"That's not where the problem lies." Gaius said. He knew full well he was stalling. He was wary of what Arthur's reaction would be to learning of Gwen's unknown status. Merlin hadn't had a chance to tell him all he knew of Gwen before Arthur woke up and the druids hadn't told Arthur either. Gaius dreaded being the one.

"What's the matter? What's happened? Gaius? Where's Guinevere?" Arthur asked, each question taking on a more panicked inflection.

"Sire... Arthur, Guinevere's missing." Gaius told him reluctantly. Arthur's face immediately took on a heartbroken, lost expression.

"She's- She's not in Camelot?" Arthur said still trying to wrap his head around Gaius' sentence.

"She left the medical tent when the battle was winding down. She went looking for you and I haven't seen her since." Gaius explained.

"You just let her go?!" Arthur exclaimed. He knew it wasn't Gaius' fault because really when Gwen had her mind set on something no one could deter her but he was afraid, he had no idea where his wife was and Morgana was probably still out there.

"I have to go. I have to go find her." Arthur mumbled to himself throwing off the fur and sitting up despite the pain it caused.

"Arthur, what are you doing?!" Merlin exclaimed, running over as Arthur climbed his way out of the wagon but he was unable to support his own weight plus the weight of his armor so he found himself falling to the ground. Merlin quickly was by his side holding him up and though part of Arthur still wanted to turn away from Merlin in anger and disgust he didn't have the strength or time, Gwen was more important.

"My wife is missing, I have to find her." Arthur explained. No matter how angry he was at Merlin Gwen's safety was always something they could agree on.

"Gwen is fine. Well not fine but she will be." Merlin said moving Arthur back towards the wagon. He was so focused on the task he didn't notice the way both Arthur and Gaius' heads snapped towards him.

"You know where Guinevere is?" Arthur questioned hopefully.

"Fear not great King Arthur, your queen is being cared for." Iseldir said walking over to the trio.

"Where is she? Is she okay?" Arthur asked desperately.

"The queen was injured during a fight." Arthur felt like the wind was knocked out of him.

"Her condition complicated things and my magic could not be used to heal her so some of the others have taken her where she can be fully healed. They have taken her to the cup of life."

"You all have the cup?" Arthur questioned. They couldn't find it in the rubble after Morgana took Morgause away.

"I gave it back to them." Merlin said. Arthur looked over at the man in question.

"I figured the best place for it was in their possession." He continued. Arthur just had another reason to look at Merlin through new eyes.

"It seems that decision proves to be a fateful one today. The queen is with five other druids. She has two protectors with her, two skilled healers and a midwife; she is well cared for on her journey. She will reach the cup three days hence, around when we shall reach the lake." Iseldir continued reassuringly to Arthur.

"Wait, wait. Did you say midwife? What good is a midwife to Guinevere? Surely there is physician within your camp." Arthur said confused. Gaius looked over to Merlin for confirmation and the raven haired man just nodded.

"You do not know Sire?" Iseldir asked, looking to Gaius who shook his head.

"Know what?" Arthur asked annoyed, only just realizing the three were having a silent conversation and not including him. The other three men looked to each other silently asking each other who would tell him. Gaius decided as he knew Arthur the longest and was his and Guinevere's physician he'd tell him.

"My lord, what Iseldir is saying is that the midwife is very necessary for Queen Guinevere for she is with child." Gaius informed carefully. Arthur's eyes widened. It was all too much to take at once: Mordred was now dead, Arthur was wounded and there was only one way to save him and the same with Gwen meaning Camelot was now without a ruler, Merlin had magic and Guinevere was pregnant. The three men watched Arthur cautiously as his face seemed to lose all color.

_Gwen's pregnant and Morgana's still out there._ Arthur thought, not aware that Gwen had already taken care of Morgana. With that last thought in mind all of Arthur's remaining energy seemed to wane, his eyes rolled into his head and he passed out.

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She was moving, rocking gently as if she were in a boat. Why would she be in a boat? She tried to focus through her hazy mind. Camlann, Sefa, Morgana, Kay, Mordred, Arthur: it all came rushing back. Gwen opened her eyes and took in her surroundings a great deal calmer than most people would after the horror of the previous night. The sky was a little clouded above her but mostly sunny, she heard voices she didn't know and she was still rocking but where was Arthur? Now Gwen felt a little panicked, she sat up quickly before she could stop herself and pain immediately flooded her stomach causing her to groan and shut her eyes. She felt small hands pushing her back down gently to a soft surface.

_A pillow_, her mind supplied.

She breathed through the pain and all the while the small hands dabbed her forehead with a cool cloth. The pain finally receded to a duller more manageable perpetual ache and Gwen opened her eyes to see who it was tending to her. She was surprised to see a small redheaded girl beaming at her.

"Hello." The girl exclaimed jovially.

"…Hi." Gwen said hesitantly back. Gwen waited for the girl to continue but she just sat there smiling at Gwen.

"Um, who are you? Where am I? Where's Arthur?" Gwen asked looking around her for a glimpse of her husband.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You must really confused." Anya said apologetically.

"I'm Anya, you're with the druids. We found you and King Arthur wounded so we're taking you to be healed." She explained. Gwen moved her vest out and the way, lifted her patterned shirt a bit and looked down at her stomach to see there was white plaster on her skin over the wound to control the bleeding. She remembered the sensation that erupted in her when Sefa forced the blade into her and then drew it out. She was running on adrenaline then and barely felt it but she did now.

"Where's Arthur? Is he here too?" Gwen asked looking around once more, she couldn't see him.

"Um, he's not here." Gwen snapped her head around to the child but her sparkling green eyes were looking down on the furs Gwen was resting upon not wanting to meet Gwen's gaze. Gwen began to feel a heavy weight in her stomach at the implications of the girl's words, a weight that had nothing to do with the sword wound.

"Is…Is he—", Gwen asked her eyes misting over.

"No! No, no! He's still alive, he's just not here. Some others in the clan have taken him to be healed as well but in a different location. You require different remedies. I'm sorry if I distressed you, your majesty." Anya explained, looking down again in a way that made Gwen finally take note of the girl's young age and her heart softened.

"It's okay, I'm not upset. Just worried." Gwen reassured, reaching out and stroking the girl's fiery hair. The girl looked up and saw Gwen smiling at her so she smiled back.

"Is there any adults here?" Gwen asked. Anya nodded and promptly went to the edge of the moving wagon.

"Fauna! Fauna! The queen is awake!" The girl called. Not even a second later the wagon stopped and Gwen could hear someone jump down from a horse and walk towards them. Suddenly there was a woman with long, thick blonde hair smiling at her.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, my lady. We were worried you wouldn't wake." she told Gwen.

"I'm not sure I'm fully back to the living just yet. I only feel a little better than death warmed up." Gwen said with a joking edge to her voice to the woman who just gave off a certain air that made her approachable and easy to talk to.

"That's to be expected. Your injury isn't one to make light of and we are currently taking you to the cup of life to heal your wound." Fauna said, her face getting a little serious.

"Yes, Anya tells me I'm with the druids. I thank you all for coming to my aid in my hour of need. I can't tell you how much it means to me, especially considering my… affiliations." Gwen said, not wanting to dredge up old wounds where Uther and the purge were concerned.

"King Arthur has not bared us druids any ill will. He kept his word and made peace with us, has treated us as his people and as his people it is our duty to do what we can for our sovereigns." Fauna assured smiling to Gwen she looked contemplative.

"My queen, I wonder…"

"Yes?" Gwen asked curiously.

"Do you know of any particularly glaring reason why you shouldn't have gone after the king?" Fauna asked trying to figure out how to tell the queen she was with child. Gwen looked confused at that.

"No, there was no reason I saw that I shouldn't have gone looking for my husband. Why?" Fauna took a deep breath and decided to just take the plunge.

"My lady, I'm sorry you were informed in these circumstances and that the king isn't here to share this joyous news with you but it has come to our knowledge that you are with child." Fauna explained in a formal tone. Both druids looked at Gwen who had a look of utter shock on her face.

"I-I had thought, for a moment that perhaps- that I couldn't conceive. It's been four years after all." Gwen said, denial clear in her voice.

"There is no set time as to when seed can take hold. It has taken hold now and you are with child." Fauna reaffirmed. Gwen looked down at her stomach with wonder and awe on her face. She had longed for a child, so wished to have a babe's pattering feet hitting the castle floors, to hear a babe's cry, to hold a child of her own in her arms but each year that passed dampened her spirits. Arthur had reassured her that if they couldn't conceive he would place no blame on her and they could adopt but Gwen still felt guilty and like she wasn't fulfilling her duties as a wife and a queen. Now she was pregnant… and injured in her stomach. Gwen gasped at that and looked to Fauna with fear clear on her face.

"But the child, my injury—", Gwen started frantically.

"You and the child are in stable condition now. There was a protective ward on you, the magic from the ward cocooned around your womb to protect the child and is sustaining him against injury. The wound has no effect on the child right now, however if we were to drop the ward the child may get harmed so we must heal you both with the cup and then we may look about dropping the ward." Fauna explained. Gwen looked up at the sky as if thanking the heavens, she was now even more thankful to Gaius for the ward he placed on her.

"There is only so much that we can do for you since our magic doesn't affect you but Anya has much knowledge on how to preserve the wound and keep you from getting even more ill. I'm a midwife so I will keep an eye on the child but he seems fine."

"Wait, he? It's a boy." Fauna only just noticed her slip and looked apologetically to the queen.

"I'm sorry if you wanted it to be a surprise. I could sense the gender when I was reaching out to the child to assess his condition."

"No, no it's alright. I just wasn't expecting you to know… a boy." Gwen's hand went to her stomach, stroking the still flat surface. She hadn't even realized. She had been dizzy lately and hungrier, she hadn't had her monthly but between Morgana's schemes and her being enchanted for some time she didn't even notice it.

"I'll leave you with Anya now, we still have three days trek to go." Gwen nodded absentmindedly still stroking her stomach.

_I wish Arthur was here,_ she thought.

"Anya, you're certain Arthur is being cared for?"

"Yes. The druid camp leader, Iseldir, went with him and Emrys too."

"Emrys? The sorcerer on the ridge?" Gwen inquired.

"Yes, that was him... in a form. You know Emrys well, my lady, but you know him by a different name." The girl said smiling knowingly at Guinevere. Gwen narrowed her eyes pensively, she had a name in her head but she wasn't exactly sure, she was snapped from her thoughts as small arms wrapped carefully around her.

"Oh." She exclaimed as she looked down to see Anya hugging her.

"Congratulations your majesty." She gushed. Gwen chuckled at the girl. Her presence lifted Gwen's spirits even though she missed Arthur terribly and was worried for him.

"Thank you sweetheart and please, call me Gwen."

"Okay Gwen." The girl said beaming and Gwen couldn't help but smile back. The wagon had just started up again when all of a sudden there was a commotion in the front and the horses were neighing wildly. Gwen could feel the wagon she was in jostling wildly as the horses bucked and she held Anya to make sure she was unharmed. Just then a flash of white darted next to the wagon and then jumped up in front of them. Gwen stared in shock,

"Aithusa?"

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Jillian stood in the corner of the knight's dark room chambers. She was nervous and she had no issue admitting it. It's be five and half years since she last saw him and so much things had changed. Back then, she didn't know about her magic and he was breezing in and out of her life yet he was still her favorite person, more of a parent to her than her own mother and stepfather had been. He had taught her so much, with his instruction and lessons ever present in her mind she had managed to survive on her own for months before she stumbled upon the druid encampment.

Jillian wasn't sure how he'd recieve her. Would he even recognize her? Would he hate her once he found out about her magic? He was now a knight of Camelot after all. It would kill her if he did. Her mother hadn't cared for her enough for Jillian to care what she thought and the same with her stepfather but if he, the only family she truly claimed, hated her not only would completing her task be that much harder but her heart would break.

Jillian's head snapped up as the door opened and the man still in chain mail and his red cloak walked through the door. He seemed like he was terribly stressed and that he would fall over any moment, such a horrible contrast to the way she remembered him. She even gave a little gasp at his appearance. The man instantly froze.

"Who's there? Show yourself." He ordered. With a flash of her eyes Jillian made the candles on the bedside table next to her light up. The knight turned to her and stared at her for a few moments, his emotions playing on his face. At first he looked guarded then scrutinizing, he stared into her eyes and she stared right back. Jillian smiled a small smile as she saw his face light up with recognition and then shock.

"Jillian?" He breathed out staring her up and down, taking in every inch of her with the face of a man who had just seen a ghost. Jillian's smiled widened at that.

"Hello Uncle Gwaine."

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**Once again, link to pictures of OCs is on my page.**

**REVIEW PLZ?!**


	3. Reunions and Confrontations

**I DO NOT OWN MERLIN; IT BELONGS TO THE BBC AND SUBSEQUENT CREATORS OF THE SHOW. NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AT ALL.**

**AN: This is an AU 5x13 fic for you all. Thanks you to those who reviewed. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Link to pictures of important original characters are on my page.**

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Gwaine stared wide eyed at Jillian. It was really her - his beloved niece who he never thought he'd see again, the girl who was a large part of the reason Gwaine disowned his sister and renounced his inheritance - she stood in front of him. She was a majority of the reason why he still spent copious amounts of time in the taverns imbibing copious amounts of wine, ale and mead to stave away the guilt. Guilt he had because his niece was supposedly dead yet here she was, seemingly healthy, in front of him now.

"But-but your mother said that you were taken by bandits. That they found your body in the forest a few days later." Gwaine muttered still staring her up and down, taking in every inch of her. Jillian rolled her eyes at his words.

"She would say that. I suppose she wasn't completely lying, I was dead to her and her to me when I ran away." Jillian said, snapping her light blue eyes to Gwaine's face.

"I used all you had taught me to survive in the forest until... some people took me in." Jillian continued. Gwaine walked closer to her hesitantly. He took in the blue eyes that belonged to his mother and unfortunately his wicked banshee of an older sister, the dark brown hair that was also his sister's. Her nose and mouth matched Gwaine's own trailing back in Jillian's genes to her grandfather. He had no doubt it was his darling little Jillian, the closest thing to a daughter he ever had. He stepped closer and placed his hand on her shoulder and gasped when it made actually contact. Gwaine stared at her with shimmering eyes.

"You're real, you're here. You're alive." He breathed out. Jillian felt tears welling up in her eyes even as she smiled and looked up at Gwaine happily. She had pictured this moment but never thought it'd come to fruition yet here it was.

"I'm here Uncle Gwaine." She said wrapping her arms around Gwaine's torso and he quickly reciprocated the tight embrace, tears slipping down his face and onto her head as hers were lost in the link spaces of his chain mail.

"I'm here." She reiterated, just enjoying being wrapped up in her uncle's - her father's - arms once more. After a few moments he pulled back to look at her.

"Goodness, you've grown." He said only now realizing she wasn't a little girl anymore but a young woman.

"That is generally what happens." She replied sarcastically causing Gwaine to smile crookedly.

"But some things don't change." He continued. He held her hand and pulled her towards his bed to sit down.

"Tell me, tell me everything." Gwaine implored eagerly. Jillian's face fell as her true mission came back to her.

"That's not what's important. I've just come from Camlann." Gwaine face instantly became serious.

"What were you doing there? What happened? Are you okay?" Jillian waved off his concern though it did warm her heart. Jillian took a deep breath to sooth her nerves and decided to just tell him.

"I was there with... with some people from my druid camp." Gwaine's eyes widened.

"Druid camp?" Gwaine inquired. It couldn't be the one in Camelot, could it? She couldn't have been that close to him and he not know about it?

"They found me in the woods and took me in, gave me shelter and helped me... with my magic." Jillian stared at her uncle waiting for the shouting and disgust and rejection... but it never came, he just stared at her expectantly as if waiting for her to continue.

"Did you hear me? I said I have magic."

"Yes, I heard you. I knew." Gwaine answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What... but... huh?" Jillian stammered causing Gwaine to chuckle.

"Sweetheart, you were levitating your toys without having to say anything since you were two. I knew what your mother's reaction would be so I had someone help me out by making your powers dormant but it wouldn't last forever, I knew that. I was visiting to see how or if your powers had developed yet but then your mom said you were gone." Gwaine explained.

"You... knew." She said trying to wrap her head around it.

_All that worrying and second guessing was for nothing because he already knew. Well this is an unexpected turn of events._ She thought, wryly. She felt relieved and a little upset too but she decided to just shake it off.

"You know what? It's not important right now. Uncle Gwaine, the king and queen are injured." Gwaine's face dropped and instantly became serious.

"How badly?"

"Pretty badly. There's-only-one-way-to-save-them badly. The others in my camp are working to save them now, trust me, they're in good hands. The king is being taken to the Lake of Avalon while the Queen is going towards the White Mountains and if all goes to plan they should be back by the end of the week. Queen Guinevere killed Lady Morgana and Sefa so they aren't threats and King Arthur killed Mordred but the Saxons defer to next highest authority." Jillian paused there before continuing.

"There's a traitor in Camelot. Sefa told Queen Guinevere who it was."

"Who?" Gwaine continued seriously. Not wanting to think about the fact that Gwen killed Morgana but feeling a sense of satisfaction because of it.

"The name of the woman is Eira. Do you know her?" Jillian said, not aware of Gwaine's connection to her.

"Eira?" He choked out.

"That's the name I was given." Gwaine's mind was racing. Eira was a traitor? How could she do this to him? Why? He shared himself with her, had trusted her. He had even thought possibly, in time, he could see himself married to her, settled down with children - a dream he always had but never thought he'd attain - but now she had proven herself to be nothing but a lie and here his long lost niece sat who had lifted his heart only to break it in the span of five minutes. He didn't blame her but he was so confused and distraught that he just needed to be alone.

"Leave please." He said quietly.

"What?" She replied confused.

"Just... leave please." He repeated looking down. Jillian felt hurt rising within her.

"Did-did I do something wrong?" Gwaine shook his head 'no' at her.

"You didn't, no, just... I know Eira. I _know_ her. I trust her, I don't want to believe..." Jillian stood from the bed and looked down on Gwaine with understanding and sympathy.

"I'm sorry Uncle Gwaine but she isn't what she seems. You cannot tell her where the king and queen are headed. You cannot trust her anymore, she'll only work to bring this kingdom down. Tread carefully around her." Jillian advised him sagely, resting a hand on his shoulder before walking from the room and leaving him to his thoughts.

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Gwen and Anya stared at Aithusa as she stood perched on the wagon's edge. Her mouth was open as she was letting out a high pitched screeching sort of noise, the likes of which they had never heard before. It took Gwen a few moments to realize Aithusa didn't look like she planned on attacking and she wasn't screaming or screeching, she was crying. Then Gwen remembered that she killed Morgana and so Aithusa didn't have anyone left. Gwen had met the young deformed dragon whilst under the enchantment Morgana put on her to turn her against Camelot. She was wary of the dragon at first on appearance alone but got to know the sweet creature and quite liked her. She was a part of the reason Gwen had stayed loyal to Morgana, she felt a strange attachment to Aithusa and she wondered if the ash white dragon knew Gwen had dealt Morgana the mortal blow.

Gwen was vaguely aware of a woman and two men coming to the back of the wagon staring at Aithusa with wonder, wariness and pity. Gwen looked at the now silently crying dragon with sympathy and affection. She removed her arms from around Anya and held them out to Aithusa. She hesitated before jumping clumsily into the wagon, causing it to rock, and stumbling her way into Gwen's open arms. Gwen wrapped her right arm gently around Aithusa while stroking her head with her left hand.

"I know. I know you are probably very sad that Morgana is gone." Gwen said softly and Aithusa nodded.

"I know you loved her and you'll miss her but you must also realize Morgana was wrong in what she was doing." Gwen continued. Aithusa looked up at her tearfully.

"You were with her as was I for a time and even under the enchantment I knew Morgana was unhinged. Her time with Sarrum made her mind leave her, made her cruel beyond reason, made her even more irrational and deadly." Aithusa had more tears gathering in her eyes but she also had glimmers of understanding. She had watched her mistress slowly lose her mind and there was nothing she could do.

"I know you wished she were alive but I had to take her life Aithusa." Aithusa looked at Gwen with accusation but the understanding was still there.

"Perhaps, she will know peace in the next world." Gwen finished soothingly.

Aithusa was sure that she should feel angry and vengeful now that she found out Guinevere was the one who dealt Morgana the fatal blow but she found that she was much too tired and too drained to cause any harm to anyone. When she found Morgana and Mordred's bodies part of her, a very small part but part nonetheless, felt relieved. She felt as if a burden had been lifted and she no longer had to watch Morgana slowly kill herself because someone finished the job for her, she didn't have to aid in Morgana's plans anymore she could do what she felt was right. She had followed Morgana blindly before for fear of what would happen to the priestess if she was left to her own devices. She didn't agree with much of her mistress' methods but she still loved her and didn't wish to see her dead.

She had thought briefly that perhaps with Mordred's help she could heal the darkness in Morgana but Morgana just heightened the darkness already in Mordred and this was the result. However, her grief over her friend's death was tenfold compared to her relief. Morgana hadn't been a hard person to love, the hard part was being able to keep loving her in the face of all she'd done and despite the overwhelming odds Aithusa kept loving her. Looking up into the Queen's - no - Gwen's teary eyes as she lamented the necessity of Morgana's death the young dragon knew despite all Morgana had done that Gwen hadn't stop loving Morgana either but she had let her go and Aithusa had to do the same if she was ever going to recover from the past. It didn't mean forgetting her mistress but simply learning to live without her. Aithusa was alone in the world except for Gwen and maybe Emrys and Kilgharrah but Gwen was the only person she trusted now so she'd stick by the Queen's side.

Aithusa looked around and took notice of Gwen's set up and then looked inquiringly at the woman.

"I was injured during the battle." Gwen explained, guessing Aithusa's question. Aithusa zoned her senses and could feel the wound on Gwen's stomach, it was a regular sword wound but there was some magical power coming from Gwen. Aithusa decided to ignore it and dredged up what reserved energy she had and breathed on Gwen with her healing breath but just like with all the other magic done on Gwen, the blue shield rippled beneath Gwen's skin and the magical breathe rebounded off Gwen onto Aithusa. Gwen, Anya and the other druids watched in wonder as some of Aithusa's more minor injuries, which consisted of some gashes and cuts here and there and probably some internal fractures they couldn't see, healed before their eyes.

"Your magic won't work on her, young one." Noelani said. Aithusa looked at the young woman briefly before turning back to Gwen.

"Don't worry they'll help me. All will be well." Gwen reassured.

"We must leave if we hope to get the queen healed in due time." Noelani continued. Aithusa nodded at the woman and settled into Gwen's side. The other druids relaxed and went back to their horses to continue their trek. Anya crept to Gwen's side hesitantly.

"It's alright, she won't harm you. She was just frightened from the battle is all." Gwen reassured.

"Hello Aithusa." Anya said to the dragon timidly. Aithusa reached out and licked Anya's hand causing the girl to giggle. Anya settled into Gwen's other side and hugged her waist, mindful of the queen's injury. Gwen let a companionable silence settle over her and her young companions. Thoughts of Arthur bloomed into her mind.

_Where is he? Does he know about the baby? Will he be happy when I tell him? Will he survive? Will I survive?_ Gwen thought worriedly. The sooner she was healed and in Arthur's arms the better she'd feel.

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Arthur stared up at the sky as the wagon rocked beneath him. After he regained consciousness Iseldir passed the news of his sister's demise by his wife's hands on to him and he felt both relief and sorrow. Morgana was difficult and beyond reason and sanity but she was his sister and his friend once so he was allowed to grief her and move on. He gave the royal seal to Gaius so he, along with Leon, was in charge of the kingdom while Arthur and Gwen were away as there was no one else Arthur could trust with this.

Trust.

He looked over at the corner of the wagon where Merlin sat whittling away at some wood. He lied to him so many times. Merlin, who was supposed to be his best friend, stared Arthur in the face and lied. He wanted to hate him but he didn't, he couldn't, and that angered him. He felt so betrayed and upset but so many things made much more sense and others confused him. However, Gaius' words ran through his brain and he thought of what Guinevere would want him to do.

Guinevere.

They were having a baby. His wife was pregnant at long last. He had thought that they possibly couldn't have a child and some of the council members were pushing him to take a mistress or cast Gwen aside and remarry in order to conceive an heir but he entertained none of that. None of them had ever considered that maybe there could be a problem with him and not her but that was all moot because she was pregnant and now he had even more reason to fight and survive this wound. An image of a little girl with curly blonde hair and brown eyes popped into his head, he would definitely survive this. Besides, Gwen would recall him from the dead only to kill him again if he had refused the druids' help because they had magic. He was no longer that prince who led raids against their camps to try and please his father, he was no longer totally oblivious to magic (though he still had much to learn), he knew it could be good. Look at the druids and Merlin but was he ready to lift the ban?

_Yes, I am. I have been for some time now. _He thought. In fact he was going to lift it for Mordred's sake. Now it seemed he would do it for Merlin's.

_But is Camelot ready? _He thought to himself.

_Probably not, I won't rush it but there's still the matter of Merlin._

He looked over at the raven haired man who was contently carving away and spoke to him with no hostility for the first time in hours.

"What are you doing?" He asked. Merlin's head snapped up in surprise that Arthur was actually talking to him.

"I-I am just… carving… something." He said lamely after a while trying to gather his bearings. Arthur pretended not to notice.

"What?"

"A… dragon—for the baby." Merlin said, quirking a smile.

"Congratulations by the way, I'm happy for both you and Gwen." Arthur smiled a little, barely noticeable smile but Merlin took that as a small victory at least.

"Yeah, I can't believe that it's happening _now _but at least the council won't bother me so much anymore." Arthur replied.

"Actually, they'll probably harass you and Gwen about whether it's a boy or girl." Merlin said. Arthur groaned as he realizes that Merlin was probably right.

"Which one would you want?" Merlin asked.

"I just want a healthy child. It doesn't matter to me." Arthur answered. Merlin smirked at that.

"Liar. A healthy child you may want, yes, but I'll bet you hope it's a girl just so the council members are disappointed. It would be your little form of rebellion." Arthur shook his head at Merlin.

"Gosh, Merlin…" Arthur said drifting off and from his tone Merlin could tell they got serious.

"Why… you know me so well. You're my friend, probably my best friend, and yet you've lied to me for 11 years. _11 years_, Merlin. It's not that you have magic, it's not that you're supposedly the most powerful sorcerer to ever live, and I have serious doubts about that, it's the lies. The lies and the betrayal. I trust you with my secrets, with things where Guinevere's the only other person I trust enough to tell. You couldn't trust me enough to tell me this? Haven't I earned your trust yet?" Arthur asked looking Merlin in the eyes.

"No- I mean yes- I mean… It's not… It's not that I didn't trust you or Gwen or Gwaine and everyone else it's just… I've lived my whole life, my childhood, hiding the magic I was born with for fear I'd be executed. When I came to Camelot the first thing I saw was that man, Thomas Collins, get beheaded for using simple healing enchantments. Then the next second Gaius is telling me to guard my secret with my life and tell no one. Your father killed so many of my kind and those who had no magic yet accepted us still. I thought that if I told you you'd have told Uther." Merlin explained.

"You thought I'd let him execute you?" Arthur asked with disappointment in his voice.

"No. I think that like with when Lady Katrina accused me of taking her seal that you would've given me a head start, a chance to get out of Camelot." Arthur looked ready to protest but he knew that at some point in time that's what he would've done.

"But what about when I was crowned?"

"Your father just died and you blamed magic, it wasn't the right time and with Morgana's actions I thought you'd think that I was just like her."

"Well, you did kill my father." Arthur said as if suddenly remembering that detail.

"I thought I did. For a little while, I thought I did too. I thought I didn't do enough to help but then Gaius found a necklace around your father's neck. The enchantment was such that any healing magic was reversed and then magnified tenfold. We suspect Morgana slipped it to Agravaine and he put it around Uther's neck knowing that Emrys was going to try to save him."

"…Makes sense I guess." Arthur said looking away from the paler man.

"I'm sorry." Merlin told him. Arthur looked back at Merlin.

"I should've told you. The last four years I should've just said something to you but… I was afraid, I was a coward and I… I'm just sorry."

"Why'd you tell me now then?"

"It's just… things with Morgana went so far I was just tired I guess. Tired of the lies and I needed to tell you. I needed you to know we aren't all like Morgana. Morgana has even killed her own kind in her quest for the throne. Slaughtered magic users and creatures in droves because they didn't agree with her, wouldn't help her or wouldn't betray my identity as Emrys to her. I had a good friend who protected me from Morgana for four and a half years and she killed him. Alator of the Catha and many others died believing that you were the Once and Future King—",

"The what king?" Arthur asked confused.

"There is a prophecy that binds me, you, Gwen and Morgana together. It states that you are the Once and Future King, destined to be the greatest king that has ever lived. With the Once and Future Queen, Gwen, by your left side and Emrys, the most powerful sorcerer to ever live – which is me – by your right side you shall unite the lands separated by your ancestor Bruta under one banner and restore magic, ushering in a time of peace and prosperity, the Golden Age of Albion. It's my destiny to protect you so that you can achieve this destiny and it's Guinevere's destiny to advise you and love you so that you can grow into who can achieve your destiny. Morgana was always destined to be your enemy and try to bring about Albion's downfall but I still blame myself for how she turned out." Merlin explained. Arthur exhaled heavily.

"That's… a tall order." He said finally, thinking of all the things he was supposedly supposed to do and how Merlin blamed himself for Morgana. He wondered what happened between the two of them, he'd ask later.

"On the bright side, it looks like you and Gwen were destined to be together." Merlin said teasingly trying to lighten the mood. Arthur cracked a smile at that. He missed Guinevere already. Not knowing exactly where she was, what her exact condition was and not being with her to hear the news of their child was even more painful than the wound in his side. At that thought he felt a flare of pain that caused him to groan in pain. Merlin was instantly by his side lifting the chain mail to see the wound. Arthur could see it was clean but still reddish pink and a little swollen and looked infected already. Arthur looked up at Merlin's grim face.

"What is it?" Arthur asked reluctantly.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me anymore Merlin. Just tell me." Arthur said with anger in his vocie. He didn't want to hear anymore lies, whether he liked the truth or not he wanted it. Merlin sighed at that before nodding.

"A piece of Mordred's blade is embedded in the wound which is infecting it. The blade was forged in a dragon's breath so it's resistant to magic so we really need to get you to the Lake of Avalon." Merlin explained with clear worry in his voice.

"I guess I really am in your hands then. You'd better not let me die or else I'll really think you're utterly useless." Arthur said in a joking tone with an undercurrent of worry to it.

"I thought you were already convinced I was useless." Merlin replied in the same tone.

"As a servant, yes, completely and utterly useless. You have no excuse now, you have magic, you could finish your chores faster than any other servant yet you never seem to manage it. As a sorcerer, well... I'll just have to see if you really are this all powerful wizard." Merlin smirked a little at that.

"Saving your life? Ha! I do it daily."

"Oh please, I'm sure you're exaggerating." Arthur protested.

"Uh-uh! There was the third day I was in Camelot and Mary Collins was getting ready to kill you…"

Arthur listened for three hours to Merlin's tales of his rescue efforts towards him, Gwen, Gaius and Camelot in general until he fell asleep wondering how he could have missed Merlin's magic and what Guinevere would say.

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Gwaine looked up as Eira walked into his room with a smile but now Gwaine knew it to be fake.

"Hey, are you alright Gwaine?" Eira asked. Gwaine didn't notice he was staring at her intensely.

"Hmm, yes I'm fine. Just…"

"What is it?"

"I know where the King and Queen are." Gwaine said staring at Eira to watch her reaction. She seemed surprised and then pleased and then it was gone. If he wasn't watching her so closely he wouldn't have seen it.

"Oh? And… where are they? Are they okay?" Eira asked in an innocently curious voice which he almost believed and then hated himself for it because he didn't notice her traitorous nature before. It took his long lost niece appearing out of the blue for him to really see her for what she really was.

"Gwaine? Gwaine?" Gwaine didn't notice he had spaced out again.

"Hmm?"

"The king and queen? Where did you say they were?" Gwaine stared at his lap wondering if he should do this. Jillian had visited him briefly with a plan to lure Eira into a trap and he had explained the situation to Percival, assuring him that though Jillian had magic she was nothing like Morgana and that he could trust her but here he was freezing up now. He quickly steeled himself, he had a duty. He had promised Elyan long ago to protect his sister and he pledged his fealty to Arthur, he had to protect his sovereigns, his friends.

"Arthur and Gwen are going towards the Valley of the Fallen Kings. Apparently there's a cave called the Crystal Cave nearby, it's a great source of magic and the sorcerer who helped win the battle, Emrys I think Gaius called him, is taking them there." Gwaine lied.

"Oh. That's good you must be so relieved." Eira said walking over to him and placing her hands on his shoulders.

"I am." Gwaine said with a fake smile.

"Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I'm helping with wounded knights so don't expect me too soon." Eira told him, giving him a kiss on the cheek before leaving. She didn't see Gwaine frowning and glaring behind her.

As Eira walked out the room she almost walked into a serving girl holding a tray with two goblets.

"I'm so sorry." The serving girl apologized. Eira narrowed her eyes at her.

"What are you doing lurking outside Sir Gwaine's chambers?" Eira questioned suspiciously.

"Nothing just... I heard mention of the king and queen and I stopped. I'm happy to hear they are going to be okay." The girl said smiling. Eira gave a fake smile in reply,

"Yes, of course."

"Oh! How about a toast?" The girl suggested, passing Eira a goblet with wine and taking the remaining one.

"To the king and queen. Long may they reign." The girl continued. She sipped from her goblet and watched as Eira did the same before she smiled politely, returned the goblet and excused herself.

Jillian, dressed as a serving girl, watched Eira leave. Gwaine came out the room a second later and Percival and three other knights came around the corner joining the two.

"Did it work?" Percival asked.

"Only one way to find out. _Shin scire._" Jillian said, her eyes flashing gold and then a path of golden light illuminated on the floor where Eira went.

"_Shin wamm_." Jillian uttered again and the light disappeared.

"It worked. Now we will be able to follow her and see if she takes the bait and goes to the Crystal Cave." Jillian said smiling at Gwaine. He smiled back at her however dull it was. Jillian squeezed his hand in support, knowing the betrayal hurt him but her uncle was nothing if not resilient, he'd get over it and she'd be here for him. She was glad even if she wasn't directly with them that she could help the king and queen. They'd save the sovereigns' lives or die trying.

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**REVIEW PLZ?!**


	4. Memories and Revelations

**I DO NOT OWN MERLIN; IT BELONGS TO THE BBC AND SUBSEQUENT CREATORS OF THE SHOW. NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AT ALL.**

**AN: This is an AU 5x13 fic for you all. Thanks you to those who reviewed. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Link to pictures of important original characters are on my page.**

**Multiple flashbacks in this chapter providing backstory, hope you guys enjoy. There's also some Mergana in this chapter and I have made Eira's story a little AU but then again we didn't really know much about her so…**

**THOUGHTS – ITALICS**

**FLASHBACKS – BOLD ITALICS**

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Gaius looked out over Camelot as the sun was setting. The people had readily looked to him for guidance and accepted that he was the authority right now. The nobles had been much more reluctant to accept that Arthur put him in charge but Leon dealt with them. Camelot. Gaius had been many places but he always came back here. Even through the Great Purge when he had the opportunity to run away with the woman he loved he chose to stay, to watch the massacre of his people and know there was nothing he could do to stop it. He remembered working behind Uther's back to help some sorcerers escape, he remembered having to send his beloved Alice away and helping smuggle Balinor away and to Ealdor to stay with his niece, Hunith. He recalled seeing friends flee for their lives and them thinking he had betrayed them. He remembered smuggling Morgause and many other children out of Camelot to save their lives and feeling such regret and grief watching the ones he couldn't save be drowned by Uther for the magic they were born with.

Those first few years were the hardest. Uther wasn't the man Gaius had loved like a brother, wasn't the man Gaius befriended. Gaius never told Arthur that for the first three years of his life Uther avoided his child like he was the plague, not wanting to see Ygraine every time he looked at him. He didn't tell Arthur that while Ygraine was pregnant that she knew what Uther had gone to Nimueh and she shunned him for the whole nine months of her pregnancy. He didn't tell Arthur that though his mother loved his father she disliked him in equal measure because even early on he was greedy and stiff and unwilling to yield and change with the times. Gaius and Ygraine knew that Uther had cheated on her with more than one woman, including Vivienne (Morgana and Morgause's mother) and the sorceress Nimueh and Morgana probably wasn't his only illegitimate child but Ygraine had stayed. She stayed through it all and the reason for it was the place Gaius was staring at now.

Ygraine was born in Cornwall in the Tintagel castle where her father was the duke. She had barely seen the world or talked to many people besides her brothers and sister but when she came to Camelot she flourished. She was like an effervescent ball of light and energy. She could calm Uther's temper with her serenity, she could cool Tristan's hot head, she broke Agravaine out of his shell and she was idolized by her sister, Mary Anne. She was comfortable in all kinds of situations and locations but where she really shined was when she was standing on the battlements looking out over the kingdom. She glowed as she strolled through the lower town greeting everyone with a smile. She had not one bad bone in her body which often made Gaius wonder at it. Wonder at why Uther thought Ygraine would thank him for the genocide he committed in the wake of her death, wonder at why he thought she would be okay with him slaughtering her people in droves, wonder at why he thought she would condone of him raising their son with hatred in his heart. Gaius could only thank the heavens that Arthur has Gwen and Merlin to guide him on the right path.

_And you, old friend._ He heard like a whisper. Ygraine had made him promise to always instill the values he knew that she cherished into her son. She knew she would die but he was still in denial until he watched her be hit with an incalculable number of ills just like Hunith was, there was nothing anyone could do.

Then there was Katerina. Katerina Leodegrance (née Dunwell). Katerina, just like Ygraine, was one ball of sunshine. She was always smiling, always had something nice to say to someone and she never met a stranger. She strived to put a smile on other people's faces. She was a maternal soul, educated by her brother who was educated by the knight he served. She was always trying to take care of someone, always putting others before herself. Gwen reminded him so much of her mother but Gaius couldn't shake her death from his mind. He swore to Tom he wouldn't tell Gwen and Elyan the true circumstances of her death. He wouldn't tell them that she had a degenerative bone disease and that Gaius himself had begged Alice to come back and heal her. He wouldn't tell them that Uther thought she was a witch because of her miraculous recovery and sentenced her to death. He wouldn't tell them that he watched that beautiful, happy woman burn alive and scream such unearthly screams that it tore away at Gaius' soul. Gaius had also promised Katerina that he'd look after Elyan and Gwen and now looking out over the darkening kingdom where the two women's children ruled he knew he was breaking that promise. Elyan was already dead and now he had no idea if Arthur and Gwen would come back alive or not and that scared him so much. Not just their deaths but the affect it would have on everyone, especially Merlin.

He heard the door open behind him breaking him out of his reverie and turned to see Leon standing there.

"Any word on Arthur or Gwen?" Gaius asked.

"Nothing yet. Are you sure about this Gaius? For all we know both Arthur and Gwen could be dead right now." Leon said with clear frustration in his voice. He felt useless and he didn't like the feeling.

"Both the king and queen will come back alive and healed from their injuries." Gaius said but he sounded like he was trying to convince himself as well as Leon.

"The druids are peaceful, you know that. They only wish to save Arthur and Gwen not harm them. If they truly wished them dead they could've just left them in the battlefield to bleed to death." Gaius said with much more confidence in his voice.

"And Morgana's really dead?" Leon asked uncertainly.

"I didn't see her body but that's what Merlin and the druids say."

"Merlin? Merlin's with Arthur?" Leon asked with confusion.

_When had Merlin gotten to the battlefield?_ He thought.

"Yes and it's a good thing he's with the king."

"But what good is Merlin to Arthur's survival? What can he do to help Arthur that the druids can't?"

"A great many things. He has power that we can only begin to dream of possessing. The safest place for Arthur right now is with Merlin."

Leon stared at Gaius as he felt something niggling at his mind. Something he thought he had dreamed up because of his injuries. He remembered being in that clearing when they went to defeat the dragon. He was on the floor laying in a daze after the dragon had knocked him back with it's tail. He heard a voice that sounded like it was coming from the depths of the earth. It was a throaty roar that sounded like it came from the great beast but at the same time didn't. He heard Merlin speaking to the dragon, he heard Merlin let the dragon go and then he passed out. When he regained consciousness Arthur told him he had killed the dragon and he thought what he heard before was all a delusion but the truth was written on Gaius' face.

"Merlin will protect Arthur? You're sure?" Leon asked but the unspoken questions were there.

_Can we trust Merlin? Will he betray us?_

"Merlin will continue to risk his life for his friends."

_Merlin isn't Morgana, he will not betray us._

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Gwen lay in the still wagon as they had made camp for the night. Fauna was asleep and so were Robb and Jasper, Noelani was keeping watch and Aithusa and Anya were curled up asleep on either side of Gwen. Gwen, however, couldn't sleep because she couldn't take her mind off the sorcerer on the ridge. She had met him before, she knew she had. She felt a memory of a time she didn't like thinking of tugging at her brain.

_**Gwen sat in the forest by a fire all alone while twirling her engagement ring between her fingers. It had been one week since she was banished and it still hurt so much. She couldn't begin to understand her actions that dreaded day. She kissed Lancelot the day before her wedding and she had no idea why. She was ecstatic, overwhelmed with joy when Arthur asked her to marry him and wasn't at all comfortable around Lancelot yet she kissed him. The hurt and pain in Arthur's eyes destroyed her, it made her hate herself, it made her hate Lancelot yet she was still sad that she had to leave all her loved ones behind. Gwaine had brought her home and comforted her after Arthur left her in the throne room, Merlin followed her to the gate pushing her cart even though she turned away from him and Elyan was there waiting for her. All three offered to go with her but she declined. Now she was regretting it a little. She missed home so much, she missed Arthur, she missed everything. **_

_**Just then she heard a rustling in the bushes in front of her and she immediately stood up holding her dagger in front of her. She knew enough not to be in the woods without some form of protection. She watched as an old man with long white hair and a matching beard (who looked oddly familiar) emerged from the bushes and trees. He didn't notice her at first but when he did he sighed in annoyance and exasperation.**_

_**"There you are!" He exclaimed.**_

_**"Me?" Gwen asked confused.**_

_**"Well of course you. Do you see anyone else out here? I've been scouring every nook and cranny of this god forsaken forest searching for you, Guinevere. Have you any idea the toll this is taking on my back? I have a good mind not to help you." He ranted at her pointing his finger at her to punctuate his anger.**_

_**"Help me? Wait, how do you know my name?" She asked, she hadn't told anyone in the town nearby what her name was.**_

_**"I know many things." He said smiling with a knowing look.**_

_**"But that's not why I'm here!" He then exclaimed. Gwen raised her eyebrow at the eccentric man.**_

_**"Then why are you here?"**_

_**"To help you, obviously."**_

_**"You won't want to do that lest you want to deal with the wrath of King Arthur Pendragon." Gwen said sadly as her mind went back to Arthur and the wedding that never was and never could be.**_

_**"Arthur Pendragon is a bone idled, supercilious, overbearing, patronizing, toad faced dollophead and a shoddy friend to boot!" The man exclaimed with a hint of both anger and teasing in his voice.**_

_**"Don't say that! Yes: he has a ways to go but he will be a great king, a much better one than his father at any rate." **_

_**"I didn't say he wouldn't be, doesn't change what I said though. He will be the king all kings aspire to be." The man said in a deeper voice with such wisdom that Gwen did not question him at all.**_

_**"Look, I've been banished from Camelot. I do not wish to get you into trouble by you helping me."**_

_**"Do not begin to presume you know my mind, young Guinevere!" He exclaimed in another of his rapid mood shifts causing Gwen to frown.**_

_**"So you won't help me?"**_

_**"Didn't I just say do not presume to know my mind?! You young people today always making assumptions and jumping to conclusions. Would you just **__**listen**__**?!"**_

_**"Alright, sorry!" Gwen exclaimed back. She looked down as her fire began to flicker and die out. She was about to grab some flint when it suddenly roared back to life. She looked up in surprise only to see his eyes fading back to blue from a burning gold color.**_

_**"You're a sorcerer." Gwen breathed out.**_

_**"Yes, thank you for noticing." He replied sarcastically.**_

_**"Did Morgana send you?" Gwen asked next.**_

_**"You know not every sorcerer in the world is in cohorts with her. You'll find that a great number of us disagree with her methods just as much as we disagreed with Uther's. She's no better than him." He replied with a deep sadness and a burning anger in his voice. Suddenly a memory flickered in Gwen's brain and she recognized the old man.**_

_**"You. You're Dragoon. You put that poultice under Arthur's pillow. But why? We weren't actually enchanted and Morgana was setting us up so why did you take the fall?" Gwen asked. She knew it was Morgana who planted those seeds in Uther's head and the poultice under Arthur's pillow.**_

_**"To save you, isn't it obvious?"**_

_**"Why? I'm just a serving girl." She pressed.**_

_**"Oh Guinevere Leodegrance, we both know that's not true. Some people are special, so special that destiny has a great task laid out for them centuries before their birth. You are one such person." He said in that sage tone again.**_

_**"No… I mean I'm... a scarlet woman. I betrayed the man I love with another. There will never be a place for me in this world now."**_

_**"No! You have a place and it is in Camelot next to King Arthur! You are the great queen of legend. The queen the prophets prophesied of, the queen seers dreamed of, the queen bards sang in glorious reverence about, you are The Once and Future Queen. You will find your way back to King Arthur, have no doubt of that, and together you will unite the lands of Albion and usher in a new age of peace and prosperity for all. You will be the greatest queen this land has ever known and I shall be there when you are crowned, watching you in the crowd, with the widest grin and the most pride and you won't even know I'm there." Gwen felt tears slipping down her face at all that he was telling her.**_

_**"Why are you saying this?" She sobbed out.**_

_**"Because it is all true and I want you to know you aren't alone. It may seem like it now but you will never be alone. You have friends in even the most unexpected places, my lady. They would lay their lives down for you, you will soon see."**_

_**"It cannot be, too much has occurred now." Gwen replied.**_

_**"Nonsense, you stubborn girl! I've watched you and Arthur grow into the king and queen of legend, I've watched you fall in love with each other and overcome countless obstacles. This is but a bump on your road to happiness, my dear."**_

_**"But why would he forgive me?"**_

_**"Ah, the answer to that is clear as crystalline water. It is because he loves you and love, true and pure love, transcends all manner of things including betrayal. Hold fast Guinevere and have faith because your reunion with your old life will be sooner than expected. Now take this." He said holding out a gold dragon cuff bracelet with a blue gemstone to her.**_

_**"What is it?"**_

_**"It's called a verus amor bracelet. That gem has been created from your true love's tears. Always wear it and no matter how far away you are you will always have a part of Arthur with you." She took the bracelet and slipped it on. She immediately felt warmer and safer with it on, a stark contrast to the haze that settled over her with the last bracelet she was given. She looked up to see the man walking away.**_

_**"Thank you, Dragoon." Gwen said stepping forward a bit. He turned back to her.**_

_**"No problem young Guinevere. The fire will burn until sunrise. I will put up a protective ward to keep away any bandits. Do yourself a favor and get out of this forest and if you meet any sorcerers just tell them you're under Emrys' protection. I fear it won't do much against Morgana but others will not harm you."**_

_**"Who is Emrys?" Gwen inquired.**_

_**"Me, of course! I would've thought it was obvious!" He said getting belligerent again. Gwen simply giggled and watched him walk off. He was so familiar yet she couldn't place him, like he was someone she met whilst very young and then met again years later but one thing she knew was that he gave her such hope. Maybe not all magic was evil afterall.**_

Gwen fingered the gemstone on the cuff. She never took it off after Dragoon had given it to her. Arthur had asked her about it and she told him the truth. He was weary at first, wondering where Dragoon would've gotten his tears from but just guessed it was metaphorical. Gaius had told him Dragoon hadn't killed his father and he hadn't been completely sold but seeing as how Dragoon protected her he was willing to no longer think of pursuing the man and seeking his death.

Gwen snapped out of her memories as she felt someone place a hand on her shoulder. She looked over to Noelani who stood by the cart.

"Oh! Sorry! Were you trying to get my attention for long?" Gwen said apologetically.

"No, not at all my lady." The woman answered not very convincingly.

"I was worlds away, I'm sorry and please call me Gwen."

"It is no problem Gwen. I simply wanted to check the wound." Noelani said surprised at Gwen's countenance. Gwen nodded and sat up to give Noelani more access to her wound.

"Anya told me you were the one who sent for help, thank you." Gwen said after a moment of silence and watching the woman tend to her throbbing, red wound.

"No, credit doesn't go to me. Anya was the one who had a dream of your injuries and implored us to intervene. We were all happy to oblige." Noelani said humbly. Gwen winced a little as the slightly lighter skinned woman pressed her stomach.

"I apologize."

"It's alright. You said Anya has dreams? Is she a seer?" Gwen questioned.

"Yes, she is." Gwen felt a little sad then as her mind went back to Morgana and her dead body.

"Morgana was a seer." Gwen said sadly.

"Anya is nothing like _Morgana_." Noelani said quickly with clear contempt in her voice. Gwen looked at the woman curiously.

"Morgana has caused you some kind of personal grievance." Gwen stated rather than questioned. Noelani nodded after a while. Gwen looked at her inquiringly causing the woman to sigh.

"You don't have to tell me—", Gwen started.

"No, no it's… Morgana isn't the last high priestess."

"But she always said—",

"There were others we just didn't agree with her and because we shunned her she saw us as the enemy and struck against us. I lived in a village where magic was practiced freely with the Catha Priests and Priestesses along with my parents and my younger brother, Salim. It was so peaceful until Morgana came. She was seeking the Catha priest, Alator, and she wanted some help from the Catha Priestesses and the High Priestesses within our settlement but we refused her. We told her that we believed in the kingdom you and King Arthur were seeking to build, that we believed in Emrys and his power to help usher in the new age and that we would not jeopardize Albion to further her need for vengeance. We disowned her, said that she was no longer our sister and wouldn't be until she repented her sins... so she attacked, she killed many of our fellow priestesses, killed my family and took Alator. She burned the place down. Our sacred halls and temples, our ancient texts and history: she burnt it all with no regard for her own heritage. She turned against all of us in the end." Noelani recalled with a far off gaze.

"I'm sorry." Gwen said feeling compelled to apologize for Morgana's actions.

"It wasn't your fault. After I had fled I got separated from the other priestesses who fled and happened upon the druid camp. They took me in and gave me shelter. I still miss my parents, my brother. I don't know if that hurt will ever leave me."

"It doesn't. I lost my parents and my brother as well and you will always think of them and miss them but the pain lessens over time. It becomes… bearable." Gwen said thinking of her mother, her father and Elyan. She missed them all, especially Elyan. Because of Morgana putting that enchantment over her she barely had time to mourn him properly and that was such a disgrace to her beloved younger brother's memory.

"You must miss King Arthur terribly." Noelani said suddenly. Gwen smiled sadly.

"I do. I never imagined this. Finding out I'm with child and not having him here to share this news, knowing that he could die and I won't be with him. I'm afraid I'll be healed only to go back home to the dead body of my husband. We fought to be together, we fought so hard and it just… it can't end like this. He cannot die. He just can't." Gwen said in an impassioned tone with tears gathering in her eyes because it was a very real possibility: Arthur could die. She could lose him and then what would she do? She wouldn't be able to cope.

"I believe that the King is in the most capable hands. His injury is severe but he has our leader with him and Emrys, who is a powerful sorcerer. He helped win the battle for Camelot."

"Emrys… I've met him before." Gwen said, glad for some reprieve from her sad thoughts concern Arthur's survival.

"I'm sure you have." Noelani said smiling knowingly.

"You know who he is?"

"Yes but it isn't my secret to tell. You will find out very soon. All I will say is that more than not, the eyes are the window to the soul." Noelani smiled at Gwen before returning to keep watch.

_Eyes are the window to the soul? _Gwen thought. She thought of Dragoon, Emrys, once more. He held such familiarity to her especially his eyes. His dark blue eyes which were wise but held an underlying mirth, playfulness and joy but also sorrow and pain. She knew those eyes; she'd seen those eyes almost every day for the past eleven years. Those eyes had seen her through difficult times and had chased after her despite the perilous situation, those eyes belonged to the one who had been a best friend to her, the one who had saved her more times than she could count, those eyes belonged to the one who promised to remember her all those years ago in a dank dungeon.

"_Arthur Pendragon is a bone idled, supercilious, patronizing, overbearing toad faced dollophead!" _He had said.

'Dollophead' only one person came up with such nonsensical words just to insult Arthur.

'_Oh, Merlin. My dear, dear Merlin.'_ Gwen thought smiling as tears rose in her eyes. Merlin had been the one to comfort her four years ago in the woods, he had given her the bracelet, he took the fall for the poultice, he won them the battle of Camlann. He was a sorcerer, he was the sorcerer, he was Emrys but he was good. He had saved them; he was still Merlin, her best friend and Arthur's too. It wasn't such a big surprise to Gwen really. She always knew Merlin was different, that he was special and that he was so much more than he looked but she just could never put her finger on it. Now she knew.

"Don't worry, baby. Your Uncle Merlin won't let your daddy die. He'll come back to us." Gwen said softly rubbing her stomach carefully. She had faith in Merlin and faith in Arthur. They'd both come back to her in one piece and then they'd have a nice long chat.

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Gwaine sat on an overgrown fallen tree keeping watch. Their camp was about a mile away from Eira's and just as they suspecting she had rendezvoused with some Saxons and was on her way to the Isle of the Blessed. They would corner her there and quickly dispatch of the Saxons and then bring her back to Camelot branded the traitor she was. He didn't know what he should say or think of Eira's treasonous nature or why she was doing it so he had been mostly silent this entire journey. The other knights looked at him sympathetically and with understanding and so everyone left him alone. Well, almost everyone. Jillian had practically glued herself to his side and refused to leave there. She had talked to him and he had answered in mostly monosyllabic words before the sun had set and they stopped for rest. Gwaine couldn't help but think of the little girl she used to be.

_**Gwaine stood in a grassy field overlooking a lake close to the manor his sister and her latest husband lived. He had been traveling again to the outlying villages of Dorne, the place where his sister was duchess of in Caerleon and Annis' kingdom, and he had only returned to see his beloved niece again. Gwaine looked around as he heard rustling in some bushes near him. He tensed but then relaxed once he saw piercing blue eyes peeking from the bushes. He turned back with a grin on his face pretending he didn't see her. He could hear her creeping up behind him but made no indication that he had. Just then she gave a war cry and jumped on his back holding a wooden dagger to his throat.**_

"_**There! You're dead Uncle Gwaine." The seven year old Jillian exclaimed.**_

"_**Am I?" He replied.**_

"_**Uh-huh." She said nodding her head vigorously.**_

"_**Well then…" Gwaine trailed off before falling on his back to the ground making sure Jillian didn't get hurt on his descent, as she was still on his back. He laid very still with his eyes closed.**_

"_**Uncle Gwaine?" Jillian asked after a beat of silence but he didn't reply.**_

"_**Uncle Gwaine?" She asked again. She climbed off his back and laid down next to him on her stomach in the grass. **_

"_**I didn't really kill you, Uncle Gwaine." She informed.**_

"_**You didn't?" He asked, with mock incredulity.**_

"_**No! I'd never kill you Uncle Gwaine." She confirmed. He put on a show of hesitantly opening his eyes to which she giggled.**_

"_**Huh, I guess you didn't kill me afterall. So I still get to do this." Gwaine suddenly rolled on his back, grabbed Jillian around her sides and began tickling her. She started giggling loudly at the sensation and begging him to stop between giggles.**_

"_**Promise not to kill me again?"**_

"_**I promise!" She exclaimed. Gwaine finally let up on the tickling and held her as she laid on his stomach with her head on his chest trying to regulate her breathing.**_

"_**Uncle Gwaine?" She asked after a while.**_

"_**Yeah Jilly?"**_

"_**Where's my daddy?" She asked quietly.**_

"_**Hasn't your mother said anything to you about him?" Gwaine asked feeling a tad uncomfortable with that topic.**_

"_**I've asked but she gets angry and says not to mention him because I have a new daddy now but what happened to old daddy?" Gwaine could see his sister reacting like that. As much as he didn't like his older sister and her apathetic nature she did truly love Jillian's father. **_

"_**Well, he chose to go away and fight in King Caerleon's army." He started gently.**_

"_**Daddy is a knight?" She asked with bright eyes. Gwaine had to smile at her.**_

"_**Yes, yes he was. There was a fierce war between King Caerleon and King Cenred and well your daddy he got really badly hurt during one of the battles and some angels decided that he should be one of them now. So he went away to the afterlife."**_

"_**So I'll never see him again?" She asked sadly.**_

"_**No sweetie, you won't see him again but he's always watching over you. Always." Gwaine reassured. Jillian's father, Thomas, had been a dear friend to Gwaine and Gwaine's hatred for Caerleon and nobles in general only increased at his best friend's death five years prior.**_

"_**I don't really remember him." Jillian continued in her sad voice.**_

"_**Well, you remind me of him. You have his smile and his attitude." Gwaine told her. She didn't really resemble her father at all in looks and got it all from her mother's side of the family but he could see Thomas' soul in his niece. He promised Thomas he'd take care of Jillian and he would keep that promise.**_

Gwaine felt someone sit beside him and he turned around to see Jillian sitting on the fallen tree next to him.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Gwaine asked quietly. Jillian gave him a dubious look.

"One: I'm fifteen years old not a child anymore, I don't have a bedtime, two: I've lived in the forest too long to sleep soundly in this kind of environment and three: I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to with you thinking so loudly, so what's wrong? Is it Eira?" Jillian counted off before looking to Gwaine imploringly.

"No, I was thinking about you."

"What about me?"

"Just… you've grown so much. I haven't seen you in so long and then you just pop up out of nowhere and tell me Eira's a traitor and Arthur and Gwen are injured. I've got no idea where Merlin is. Morgana and Mordred are dead. It's just a lot to deal with right now." He explained.

"I'm sorry that I didn't contact you before. You're a hard man to find when you want to disappear. I was intent on finding you at first but the others at my druid camp advised me to get a handle on my powers first and so that's what I was doing and then Morgana became a threat. I knew you were in Camelot but I had to stay with the druids to stay away from Morgana. She would've tried to use me." Jillian explained.

"How do you mean?" He asked confused.

"I'm not a high priestess like Morgana or Noelani, my friend, but I'm what the druids call a telepath. I can read people's thoughts. Like before when I said you were thinking loudly I meant it literally. It takes long to control and you either have it or you don't. It's different to the druids and some other magical people who can project their thoughts into other people with magic's head but, me, I can hear non-magical people too and people don't need to project their thoughts to me for me to hear them. I needed to learn to put up mental defenses so people's thoughts weren't constantly flooding my head. Telepaths who don't learn to control the gift can be driven mad from all the different thoughts. Morgana would've surely wanted me to help her gather information on Emrys and other powerful sorcerers who opposed her." Jillian explained.

"Oh, I didn't know about the telepath part of you magic."

"You wouldn't have. I didn't even know at first."

"I understand why you had to stay away from me now." Gwaine told her staring off into the forest.

"Uncle Gwaine, I read Eira's mind. I know why she's betraying Camelot." Jillian informed hesitantly. Gwaine snapped his head to her.

"She thinks… she believes that Camelot is responsible for a raid that killed her family."

"But she said that her village was attacked by…"

"She lied, well kind of. Her village _was _attacked and she _was_ the lone survivor while her family perished but the attack seemed to have been made by Camelot's knights."

"That's impossible. They would never and Arthur would never allow them to-" Gwaine protested before Jillian cut him off.

"I know. I saw into her mind, they were wearing Camelot's Pendragon crested, red cloak but they weren't knights. They were too untrained, too wild, too uncoordinated. Morgana probably had the Saxons attack the village so as to gain Eira as an ally. Make her see Morgana as her savior and King Arthur as the enemy." Jillian explained. Gwaine shook his head at Morgana's plan.

"It seems like something Morgana would do." Gwaine confirmed.

"This doesn't change anything though. Eira's still a traitor Uncle Gwaine. She still must be brought to justice. If you had told her the king and queen's true locations she would've tried to kill them, you know this." Jillian advised strongly.

"I know." Gwaine said but his voice lacked the conviction Jillian wanted. Jillian grabbed Gwaine's face to look her in the eyes steadily.

"You must not lose sight of the quest. You are hurt and I know that but giving Eira the benefit of the doubt would mean you losing yourself and abandoning your duties, your friends. She cannot be more important than them… than me. Promise me you will do what you have to do when the time is right, for my sake." Jillian said softly.

"Jilly—"

"Promise me Uncle Gwaine." She reiterated.

"…I promise."

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Merlin sat staring unseeingly into the fire of the camp they had made. Arthur had fallen asleep earlier while Merlin was talking to him and hadn't stirred since. That had initially worried Merlin but Iseldir said to leave Arthur alone, that he was fine. Now Merlin had time to think and his mind kept straying to Morgana. Truth be told, Merlin felt that if Gwen hadn't killed her that he would've. He would've looked her in the eye, owned up to his part in her fall from grace and then driven Arthur's sword through her heart and felt his own shatter.

There were moments before Morgana turned away from her family that Merlin felt loved by her and loved her in return. There were times when all he wanted to do was shout his abilities at her just to stop the tears from falling down her porcelain face but he was too afraid to and then he had poisoned her and all that they had was torn asunder and lost in the wind.

But there were moments, in the day and night, where they could be alone and even though he had had Freya for a brief time (during a time where Morgana had shunned him) he still had had Morgana for much longer and so each betrayal they wrought on each other hurt more than the last.

But there were moments where everything shined and glittered and love was undying and forgiving and hope was high and life was just beaming and wonderful.

_**Merlin laid in Morgana's chambers watching her sleep in the moonlight. The moon reflected off her bare, sweat glistened skin giving her the illusion of glowing. Her chest rose and fell with her every breath, her face looked serene showing that she was not having a nightmare (which was thanks to her healing bracelet) and her entire countenance just screamed relaxation. **_

_**This is how Merlin liked to see her, at peace with herself and with the night. Not when she was dealing with internal warfare concerning who she was and Uther's choices and who Morgause was, not when her countenance towards him grew icy because she knew that he knew more than what he was saying about her and not when they were so deep in the throes of arguing that he had the time to go and fall in love with another lost soul and her the time to invite others who aren't him into her bed. **_

_**The only reason he was still there was because Uther was out of town, Arthur wasn't just going to pop into Morgana's chambers in the middle of the night and Gwen already went home and wouldn't tell anyone anyway. Merlin was snapped out of his thoughts by Morgana's voice.**_

"_**You know, just because I look like I'm asleep doesn't mean that you can stare at me." She said in her sweet voice before snapping her jade eyes open. Merlin smiled down at her.**_

"_**What if I said I was only staring at you because you actually look innocent in your sleep?"**_

"_**I'd tell you were in the wrong bed chambers if you wanted someone innocent." She said smiling back.**_

"_**Good thing I'm in your bed then isn't it?" Merlin said leaning down.**_

"_**It's a very good thing indeed." She replied leaning up and meeting her lips with his. Merlin huffed a breath as Morgana pushed him on his back and laid on top of him.**_

"_**You know, you're a lot more energetic lately." Merlin commented.**_

"_**Well the healing bracelet Morgause gave me does it's work." She commented. Merlin frowned then.**_

"_**What is it?" She asked.**_

"_**Nothing just… I don't really trust her is all."**_

"_**Why? Because she's a sorceress?" Morgana asked getting testy.**_

"_**No because she managed to convince Arthur to try and kill his father." Merlin answered as if that was obvious.**_

"_**That wasn't her fault that was Uther's. He shouldn't have lied to Arthur about what he had done to his mother and you shouldn't have lied to him either." Morgana retorted.**_

"_**What did you want me to do? Stand back and watch Arthur run Uther through with no remorse. You know once he calmed down that it would've destroyed him. How would the people receive him as king knowing what he had done to the last king? How would he live with himself knowing that he had broken his mother's heart by letting the truth change him? How would he cope knowing he had killed his father, the only parent he ever knew? You know he would've never been the same from such a betrayal. If his family ever betrayed him he'd be destroyed." Merlin protested.**_

"_**He's Arthur, he'd soldier on from Uther's death. He'd do what was necessary in the wake of Uther's death, he'd be a better king. He deserves it more than his father." Morgana said with a distant expression. Merlin didn't know what she was thinking, he didn't know that she had just made the decision to go to Morgause for help in killing Uther.**_

"_**Look, let's not talk about Morgause or Uther or Arthur anymore, okay?" Merlin said, stroking her cheek. Morgana snapped back to reality before nodding and leaning her head on Merlin's chest knowing what she now had to do. **_

There were moments. Moments that glittered and shined. Intimate moments, hot and fast moments, slow and sensual ones but towards the end the moments were darker. The moments usually ended in a fight or a threat or a heated kiss that fixed nothing. It was over now and she was dead, she was gone and so was a piece of Merlin's heart.

He had placed a spell on both she and Mordred's bodies that would preserve them and protect them from the elements and any creatures or people until they went back and got them so they could deal with the bodies. Merlin looked over at Arthur knowing that he would want to decide what to do with his sister and his friend's bodies. Merlin felt a tear slip down his face. He had failed her, he had failed Morgana. He should've been the one to help her with her magic not Morgause. He should've showed her all the wondrous and good things magic could do but instead Morgause infected her with her darkness and it latched onto Morgana never to let her go. Gaius had vehemently denied Merlin's fault in what happened to Morgana and Merlin wouldn't take the fall for all she had done and all the lives she had taken but he still felt some sense of responsibility for her, probably because he loved her and he knew she could be so much better than she was.

He felt he failed her but he wouldn't fail Arthur. He couldn't fail Arthur. He just couldn't.

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**I find Gaius' character to be complex so I hope I wrote him well. I feel his character has seen so much and he was one of the few characters old enough and close enough to Uther to have firsthand knowledge of the Great Purge and a lot of Camelot and Uther's secrets. I also love Dragoon, he was absolutely hilarious and I hope I captured his particular brand of crazy well. I know some might be thinking where did Mergana come from? But I feel there was a lot of implied bits about them and I wanted their relationship to be deeper in order to show why Merlin feels he could've saved her. Review to tell me if I did well.**


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